子供のために離婚したくない人へ・To those who don’t want to divorce for their children

Scroll down. You can read in English.
配偶者は赤の他人だから合わない部分も多い。
育った環境も、親も、違う。
結婚してみて初めて気づくこともある。
相手の普通は自分の普通とかなりのズレがあって、
とても一緒に暮らせないと思った時、
子供のために別れない、とか、
金銭的に苦しいから別れない、
という人をよく見かける。
たしかにお金がなければ生活できない。
でも、嫌いな人と一生付き合うことができるのか？
それが疑問だ。

　「子どものために別れない」ではなく、「子どものために分かれる」ほうがいいような気がします。険悪なお父さんとお母さんを見て育った子供は幸せではないと思います。配偶者のどこが気に入らないのか話し合いをする余地があるなら、話し合った方がいいです。とにかく気持ちが悪くて一緒にいられない、というレベルだったら、死ぬまでその人と暮らすのは地獄です。子供も不安定な人間になる可能性が大。母子家庭、あるいは父子家庭でもいいから、楽しく暮らしたほうがいい。母子家庭の場合、特に手に職もなく、特技もなく、就職の経験もない女性なら、金銭問題が肩に重くのしかかります。実家を利用したり、職安の職業訓練を受けたり、利用できるものは利用して道を切り開くほうが健全な人生を歩めるような気がします。女手一つで子供子を育てるのは大変だと思いますが、気持ちが悪い人に一生を捧げるほうがもっと大変です。女の子は結婚したらすべて安泰、旦那さんが定年になったら、年金も入るし、死んだら遺族年金がもらえる、と誰もが思いたいですよね。でも、誰もが普通の人生を送れるとは限らないのです。私もその1人で、離婚して路頭に迷っていた時期がありました。働いた経験はあるけど、これと言って手に職もなく役に立つ特技もありあませんでした。そこで苦渋の決断をしました。実家に引きこもってひたすら勉強し、看護師国家試験に挑んだわけです。そして子供になんとか普通の家庭と同じレベルのことをしてあげることができました。生きていると想像もできないような難関に打ちのめされるのです。だから、特に女性は、結婚する前に自立できる自分作りをしておくほうがいいです。

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エッセイ・随筆ランキング

To those who don’t want to divorce for their children

A wife and a husband are strangers to each other. So they have lots of things they don’t admit to each other.  They grew up in entirely different environments and parents. They never find something until they marry. They have an enormous gap between a wife’s idea and a husband’s idea. When they think that living together is impossible, I often find that they say, “we will not divorce for our children or money.” It is true we couldn’t live without money. But can they live together lifelong even though they cannot love each other? It is a problem.

To those who don’t want to divorce for their children

　I feel like it is better to think “they will divorce for their children.” than “they will not divorce for their children.” The children will never be happy because they see their parents be on bad terms with each other. They had better talk about what they dislike each other if they still have to talk. If they have reached a level that they feel sick and stay cannot together, it is hell to live together lifelong. Their children have a high possibility of becoming emotionally unstable persons. Even though they become a fatherless family or become a motherless family, they had better live a happy life. In the case of a woman of a fatherless family without a marketable skill, specialty, and even working experience, the matter of money weighs heavily on her shoulders. Taking advantage of their parent’s home, getting vocational training, and using whatever they can use, I think they can follow a healthy path to beat away. They would have a hard time raising their children by themselves. But they would have a more challenging time devoting their life to a creepy husband. Maybe, everyone hopes that everything is safe for a married woman; they will get a husband’s pension after they retired, and they will get a bereaved family pension after they passed away. But everyone could not always enjoy a normal lifestyle. I’m also a person of them. There was a time when I have turned adrift without enough money to raise my son. I have experienced working. But I don’t have a marketable skill and specialty. Then, I made a painful decision. Staying at my parent’s home, studying so hard, I challenged National Nursing Examination. I became to be able to do everything an average family can do. While living, everyone might encounter an imaginable hard time. So, especially women should be independent before they marry.

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エッセイ・随筆ランキング